Couples Therapy

Overview of Gottman Method Couples Therapy

The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is based on Dr John Gottman’s research that began in the 1970s and continues to this day. The research has focused on what makes relationships succeed or fail. From this research, Drs John and Julie Gottman have created a method of therapy that emphasises a nuts-and-bolts approach to improving clients’ relationships.

This method is designed to help teach specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy in your relationship. To help you productively manage conflicts, you will be given methods to manage resolvable problems and dialogue about gridlocked (or perpetual) issues. We will also work together to help you appreciate your relationship‘s strengths and to gently navigate through its vulnerabilities.

Gottman Method Couples Therapy Consists of Five Parts – below are approximations of timelines, which are a guide and not prescriptive:

1. Assessment (First three sessions)
2. Treatment
o Intensive – 2 x 2-hour sessions per week for month 1
o Consolidation – 1 x 2-hour session every fortnight for months 2-3
3. “Phasing Out” of Therapy
o 1 x 2-hour session every month for months 4-12
4. Termination
o 1 x 2-hour session every 3 months for months 12-24
5. Outcome Evaluation
o 1 x 2-hour session at 2.5 years, 3.5 years, and at 5 years

Early in the assessment phase, you will be given some written materials to complete that will help us better understand your relationship. In the first sessions, we will talk about the history of your relationship, areas of concern, and goals for treatment.

In the next session, I will meet with each of you individually to learn your personal histories and to give each of you an opportunity to share thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. In the final session of assessment, I will share with you my recommendations for treatment and work to define mutually agreed-upon goals for your therapy.

Most of the work will involve sessions in which you will be seen together as a couple. However, there may be times when individual sessions are recommended. I may also give you exercises to practice between sessions.

The length of therapy will be determined by your specific needs and goals. In the course of therapy, we will establish points at which to evaluate your satisfaction and progress. Also, I will encourage you to raise any questions or concerns that you have about therapy at any time.

In the later stage of therapy, we will “phase out” or meet less frequently in order for you to test out new relationship skills and to prepare for termination of therapy. Although you may terminate therapy whenever you wish, it is most helpful to have at least one session together to summarise progress, define the work that remains, and say goodbye.

In the outcome-evaluation phase, as per the Gottman Method, four follow-up sessions are planned: one after six months, one after 12 months, one after 18 months, and one after two years. These sessions are have been shown through research to significantly decrease the chances of relapse into previous, unhelpful patterns. In addition, commitment to providing the best therapy possible requires ongoing evaluation of methods used and client progress. The purpose of these follow-up sessions then will be to fine-tune any of your relationship skills if needed and to evaluate the effectiveness of the therapy received.

Fees for the assessment of your therapy are based on the number of hours needed to complete the three-step process. Generally, the assessment requires about 4-4.5 hours in three or four sessions. It also requires 1-2 hours of paperwork.

The components of the assessment are as follows:
• Session 1: Intake interviews – 80-90 minutes
• Session 2: Individual interviews – 45 minutes each (90 minutes total)
• Session 3: Treatment planning – 80-90 minutes

Interventions will begin from Session 4 onwards, and sessions will last between 90 and 120 minutes.

Why Couples Therapy Needs Longer Sessions (90+ Minutes)

1. Complexity of Dynamics
Couples therapy involves three clients: each partner and their relationship system. Longer sessions allow time to:

Hear both perspectives fully

Identify interaction patterns

Address emotional reactions in real-time

2. Gottman Method Requirements
Evidence-based couples work often involves:

Structured exercises

Skill-building

Processing conflicts with therapist mediation

3. Emotional Safety
Shorter sessions risk:

Leaving one partner feeling unheard

Cutting off intense emotions prematurely

Rushing through repair attempts

4. Practical Considerations

Typical 50-minute sessions often end just as partners become emotionally engaged. Longer sessions allow for:

Initial check-ins (10-15 min)

Core work (60-90 min)

Closure/grounding (15 min)

5. Neuroscience Factor
Conflict triggers fight/flight responses. 90+ minutes provides time to:

De-escalate physiological arousal

Access higher-brain problem-solving